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Collaborative Divorce

7 Steps for Talking with your Spouse About Collaborative Divorce

2016-11-16T18:19:03+00:00 March 23rd, 2015|Collaborative Divorce, Featured|

We know it can be difficult to talk to a spouse about divorce in general, but add in the task of trying to interest them in learning about collaborative divorce, and it probably feels like climbing Mt. Everest. So we put together the following steps and hope they can be helpful. Admit you are scared about what the [...]

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Amicable Divorce

2016-11-16T16:06:06+00:00 March 2nd, 2015|Collaborative Divorce, Featured|

I recently heard someone use the term "amicable divorce" when they described collaborative divorce. I've never used that term to describe collaborative divorce, and it got me wondering why. It seems like "amicable divorce" is maybe a quick and easy way to explain what I do. "I help people have an amicable divorce." But that's [...]

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Protecting Yourself—AND Your Kids—During Divorce

2016-11-16T16:06:06+00:00 January 12th, 2015|Collaborative Divorce, Featured|

We had a call the other day from someone facing divorce. He wanted to know more about the collaborative divorce process. He said he was intrigued by the possibility of a collaborative divorce, but he also wanted to be protected in the divorce. He said he was thinking he might need to call the law firm that [...]

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Can Counseling Hurt You During a Divorce?

2016-11-16T18:19:03+00:00 November 25th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce, Featured|

Can counseling hurt you during a divorce? The answer is a resounding yes, if the divorce goes through the traditional process of court litigation. The answer is a resounding no, if the alternative—collaborative divorce—is chosen. We see a lot of people who are in tremendous emotional distress. They are wondering if their marriage is headed [...]

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Living Arrangements for Separated Couples Can Have Legal Ramifications: Tread Cautiously

2016-11-16T18:19:03+00:00 November 11th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce, Divorce in North Carolina, Featured|

In North Carolina, you can't get divorced until you've been physically separated for at least a year. During the separation period there's a need for two homes while you're still married. If you rent an apartment as the second home, then it can be relatively simple. But if you want to buy a second home [...]

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To Sell or Not to Sell the Marital Home In Divorce

2016-11-16T18:19:03+00:00 November 4th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce, Featured|

There's no right answer when it comes to whether to sell the house because of divorce. Some say you don’t want to be "stuck" with the home, because it means you'll get fewer of the other marital assets, and these assets may be more liquid, may have fewer costs associated with them, and may appreciate [...]

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Collaborative Divorce Demystified

2016-11-16T18:19:03+00:00 October 7th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

There's a common myth about collaborative divorce that says it's only for low-conflict couples. In part, this misunderstanding comes from a decision, 25 years ago, to call this intensive, settlement-only effort "collaborative law." It makes it sound like it's "friendly" divorce. But collaborative divorce does not require that spouses feel "friendly" toward each other. Few [...]

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The Choice is Yours: Avoid Prolonged, Expensive Court Divorces

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 October 1st, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

The North Carolina Court of Appeals recently handed down an opinion reviewing a child custody case from Wake County that highlights the horror of parenting disputes in court. First, the horror of the cost. The Court of Appeals noted that the trial court did not appoint a parenting coordinator because the parents could not afford [...]

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Collaborative Divorce is Entering the Mainstream; 10th State Adopts Statute This Month

2016-03-16T18:33:33+00:00 September 23rd, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

An idea began shaping in Stu Webb's family law office in Minnesota in 1992. The novel idea was to help families through the divorce process with a new approach he decided to call collaborative law. This month, Collaborative Law Proceedings were officially accepted as a practice area in New Jersey, which is the 10th state [...]

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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 4 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 September 5th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. This is the last in our four-part series about how to effectively navigate conflict. Today, we discuss changing conflict into joint problem solving. When we're in conflict with someone else, it means that we each have a [...]

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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 3 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 September 2nd, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. In the last blog on effectively navigating conflict, we discussed avoiding words that place responsibility for what we're feeling onto someone else during times of conflict. In the first blog, we talked about finding fault, blaming and [...]

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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 2 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 August 26th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. In the first part of this series, we discussed avoiding the use of judgment, blame and criticism when we find ourselves in conflict with someone else. The types of negative words are certain to increase, rather [...]

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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 1 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 August 5th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. A Look at Conflict Avoiding and resolving conflicts starts with effective communication. Unfortunately, when two people have a difference of opinion and the stakes are high, a definite fight, flight or freeze reaction takes hold. Neuroscientists [...]

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Is a Divorce Possible Without Conflict?

2016-03-16T13:06:43+00:00 July 22nd, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Last week an attorney who practices family law pressed me repeatedly to agree with her that you should expect conflict even in collaborative law proceedings.  I hesitated to agree, even though I'm often confronted with couples who are having disagreements as I work with one spouse or the other in the collaborative process. I hesitated [...]

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Do You Want Control Over Your Divorce?

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 June 25th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

We received an email this week from a medical doctor who is married to another medical doctor. They have two children. One of them teaches at a university; the other has and owns an established medical practice. They are so worried about lawyers taking control of their divorce, or as the wife put it, "dragging [...]

Three Settlements that Speak Volumes About Springfield Collaborative Divorce and Collaborative Law Proceedings

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 June 18th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Last week three of our clients signed their separation agreements and property settlements after intense but successful collaborative law proceedings. Each had their own unique challenges. Client #1 In the first case, the husband was returning to his native country of Norway. The wife had her own career and was financially independent. There were no [...]

Imagine a Peaceful Approach to Conflict Resolution

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 June 11th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Imagine a peaceful approach to resolving disagreements between a husband and wife who are happily married—not so hard to imagine. Now imagine a peaceful approach to resolving disagreements between a husband and a wife who are getting divorced. That's exactly what Stu Webb, a family-law attorney in Minnesota, did twenty years ago. Back then it [...]

A Personal Journey into Collaborative Law

2016-03-16T13:30:02+00:00 May 14th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

I remember vividly my introduction to Collaborative Practice over twelve years ago. I was in a darkened room at the Bar Center watching a video replay of a continuing legal education course. A short segment of the course called "Collaborative Family Law" was showing on the screen. I had been away from the practice of [...]

What’s the Difference Between Mediation and Collaborative Law?

2016-11-16T18:19:04+00:00 April 30th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Mediation—A Court Process In 1995, mediation became a court-mandated process in North Carolina. It's part of the family court proceedings for equitable distribution of marital property. So even though mediation sounds like a kinder, gentler way to divorce, it can be quite brutal. Practically all divorce mediators in the state are trained and certified to [...]

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