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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 4 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00September 5th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. This is the last in our four-part series about how to effectively navigate conflict. Today, we discuss changing conflict into joint problem solving. When we're in conflict with someone else, it means that we each have a [...]

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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 3 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00September 2nd, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. In the last blog on effectively navigating conflict, we discussed avoiding words that place responsibility for what we're feeling onto someone else during times of conflict. In the first blog, we talked about finding fault, blaming and [...]

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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 2 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00August 26th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. In the first part of this series, we discussed avoiding the use of judgment, blame and criticism when we find ourselves in conflict with someone else. The types of negative words are certain to increase, rather [...]

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4 Healthy Ways to Effectively Navigate Conflict—Part 1 of 4

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00August 5th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

This four-part blog series will explain 4 unique and healthy ways to effectively communicate and navigate your way through conflict. A Look at Conflict Avoiding and resolving conflicts starts with effective communication. Unfortunately, when two people have a difference of opinion and the stakes are high, a definite fight, flight or freeze reaction takes hold. Neuroscientists [...]

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Is a Divorce Possible Without Conflict?

2016-03-16T13:06:43-04:00July 22nd, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Last week an attorney who practices family law pressed me repeatedly to agree with her that you should expect conflict even in collaborative law proceedings.  I hesitated to agree, even though I'm often confronted with couples who are having disagreements as I work with one spouse or the other in the collaborative process. I hesitated [...]

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Do You Want Control Over Your Divorce?

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00June 25th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

We received an email this week from a medical doctor who is married to another medical doctor. They have two children. One of them teaches at a university; the other has and owns an established medical practice. They are so worried about lawyers taking control of their divorce, or as the wife put it, "dragging [...]

Three Settlements that Speak Volumes About Springfield Collaborative Divorce and Collaborative Law Proceedings

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00June 18th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Last week three of our clients signed their separation agreements and property settlements after intense but successful collaborative law proceedings. Each had their own unique challenges. Client #1 In the first case, the husband was returning to his native country of Norway. The wife had her own career and was financially independent. There were no [...]

Imagine a Peaceful Approach to Conflict Resolution

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00June 11th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Imagine a peaceful approach to resolving disagreements between a husband and wife who are happily married—not so hard to imagine. Now imagine a peaceful approach to resolving disagreements between a husband and a wife who are getting divorced. That's exactly what Stu Webb, a family-law attorney in Minnesota, did twenty years ago. Back then it [...]

A Personal Journey into Collaborative Law

2016-03-16T13:30:02-04:00May 14th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

I remember vividly my introduction to Collaborative Practice over twelve years ago. I was in a darkened room at the Bar Center watching a video replay of a continuing legal education course. A short segment of the course called "Collaborative Family Law" was showing on the screen. I had been away from the practice of [...]

What’s the Difference Between Mediation and Collaborative Law?

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00April 30th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce|

Mediation—A Court Process In 1995, mediation became a court-mandated process in North Carolina. It's part of the family court proceedings for equitable distribution of marital property. So even though mediation sounds like a kinder, gentler way to divorce, it can be quite brutal. Practically all divorce mediators in the state are trained and certified to [...]

What Do Mothers Need to Know About Divorce in North Carolina?

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00April 25th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce, Divorce in North Carolina, Parenting and Co-Parenting|

Divorce is tough on both parents and children. For moms there's an awful experience of what we call "premature separation" from their children. Even after children turn 18 and head off to college, it's hard to adjust to having the children out of the house. It's really hard to have the children out of the [...]

Do You Have to Go to Court for a Divorce in North Carolina? No, You Do Not!

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00February 28th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce, Divorce in North Carolina|

The matrimonial statutes in North Carolina are a complex web of legal rights and entitlements that arise out of the antiquated notion that while you don't need the court's permission to get married, you have to have the court's permission to get un-married. These days, you have to show the state that you've been separated [...]

What is the Average Cost of Divorce in North Carolina?

2016-11-16T18:19:04-05:00January 5th, 2014|Collaborative Divorce, Divorce in North Carolina|

The total cost of a divorce, including attorneys fees, court costs, real estate transfers, and consultant fees varies so widely for any particular couple, that an "average" cost is almost impossible to calculate. The reason being is that there are many different factors that influence the cost. I once heard that a prominent area divorce [...]

Planning for Divorce Part 1: Choosing How to Have the Necessary Conversations

2019-06-04T15:32:28-04:00December 19th, 2013|Collaborative Divorce, Divorce in North Carolina, Parenting and Co-Parenting|

When people research what it means to move toward separation and divorce, the first search topic is the law. Of course the Internet has vast amounts of information on North Carolina divorce laws. However, the laws that govern equitable distribution of marital property, alimony, and child custody are broad outlines of what a court [...]

How to Avoid Divorce Court

2016-11-16T18:19:05-05:00December 2nd, 2013|Collaborative Divorce, Divorce in North Carolina|

Arbitration. Mediation. Negotiated settlement. They sound like good ways to avoid divorce court. Unfortunately, in North Carolina, these non-court options fail families in many of the same ways that court fails families. Why? Because these alternatives continue to be adversarial and use the same standards as divorce court when trying to evaluate offers and proposals. The [...]

Peaceful Conflict Resolution Guide

2016-11-16T18:19:05-05:00November 5th, 2013|Collaborative Divorce|

When our differences with others are resolved in day-to-day interactions, those events receive little notice. Colleagues heading to lunch may have different ideas, but little difficulty settling on a restaurant that satisfies each. However, differences over more crucial matters escalate to actual conflict. A husband, fearing for the financial condition of the family, berates his [...]

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