When is Collaborative Divorce The Best Choice?
If you are considering collaborative divorce, you may be wondering how to know whether it is the best solution for you. We believe that collaborative law is the best choice for most couples, but we also acknowledge that it isn’t right for everyone.
If collaborative divorce is right for you and your spouse, it can put you both in the best possible position for achieving an outcome that you can both be happy with. The other benefit to collaborative law is that it is typically less expensive and more efficient than traditional divorce or other alternatives.
For collaborative law to be successful, both parties must be committed to the process. In fact, at the onset of the collaborative process you and your spouse will sign an agreement to demonstrate your commitment.
The first question you need to ask yourself in determining whether the collaborative process is right for you is “What do you want for the future?” Collaborative law is designed to help you achieve the outcome and the future you want based on your goals, and so to be successful you need to be able to look past short-term problems and focus on the things that will matter 10 years from now.
In the book, The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, Lower Cost, and Happier Kids Without Going To Court by Stuart Webb, the author outlines 10 statements that can help you decide whether collaborative divorce is the right solution. The author ask that you indicate your level of disagreement or agreement with these statements.
The 10 statements are:
- My ability to achieve a successful outcome in the divorce primarily will depend on the decisions I make during the process.
- In order to achieve my most important goals, I am willing to let go of some smaller, short-term issues, even though it may be very hard to do so.
- I am capable of making the emotional commitment necessary to achieve the best possible outcome.
- I am not afraid of or intimidated by my spouse.
- I am willing to try to see things from my spouses point of view in order to help achieve the best possible outcome.
- I believe it is possible for my spouse and me to restore enough trust in each other to achieve a successful outcome.
- I am willing to commit myself fully to resolving the issues through the collaborative process by working toward common interest rather than simply arguing in favor of my positions.
- It is important to me that my spouse and I maintain a respectful and effective relationship after the divorce.
- I have accepted the fact that this divorce is going to happen.
- I believe that it is very important that our children maintain a strong, healthy relationship with both parents.
If you are considering collaborate divorce we recommend getting a copy of this book. In the book the author explains how to score your results for determining how likely it is that the collaborative process will work for you.
It is safe to say that if you agree or strongly agree with the majority of these statements then you are likely a good candidate for collaborative divorce.
If you believe that collaborative divorce sounds like the best solution for you and you’d like to learn more please call us at